I saw that ESPN paparazzi’d Tiger Woods today. Seriously, who else but TMZ and Extra follows a guy across the country to a golf course parking lot?

That aside, the golf scene will soon shift to Bethpage State Park, specifically the Bethpage Black course. This is the course with the warning sign on the first tee. This is also the course that NY State residents can play for $50, out of state for $100, and, if you insist on riding a cart, you cannot play at all. This is a true test of golf, particularly ball striking. I must have played there 6 or 7 times, but I remember every hole.  Luckily, the pros don’t have to sleep in the parking lot, get those bracelets, hit the diner, and then tee off.  That’d be interesting though.

The course starts pretty benign, with a dogleg right first and dogleg left second. The third is a slight uphill par 3, nothing to write home about. The fourth is where the fun starts.

#4 - Par 5, with a uphill second. If you go for the green, you must know that the green slopes back to front, and there’s trouble long (and short).
#5 - Par 4 comes next - tight tee shot, with another up hill approach to a green surrounded by bunkers. This is where the snack shack is - make sure you have something to drink (not alcoholic) because your day and walk has just begun.
#6 - Par 4, blind tee shot if you decide to go with driver over the hill. Probably the wrong play - play 3 wood to top of the hill to give yourself a flat lie. Downhill approach to, guess what, a green surrounded by bunkers.
#7 - Par 5 (pros play as a par 4). A breather in the middle of the front. Straight forward.
#8 - Par 3, downhill. I once made par from the top of the hill on the right of the green. I recommend not hitting it there. The walk up the hill is brutal.
#9 - Par 4, dog left. Looks tight, plays tight.
#10 - Prepare yourself. This is where the course stops with jabs, and comes at you with a right cross and massive body shots. Par 4, generally into the wind. Fairway surrounded by bunkers, plays to a green surronded by bunkers.
#11 - Sister par 4 of 10. Same deal with the fairways, greens, and bunker. I once birdied this with a putt that broke 4 feet - pure luck.  Only good news is that if #10 is into the wind, this is down wind.
#12 - Par 4. If you can clear the bunkers in front of you, that will make you life so much easier. Snack shack reminder.
#13 - Par 5. Long. Be thankful that this tee shot is not as tight as the previous 2.
#14 - Par 3. Big sigh. Do not hit into the front bunker. This hole made me realize that, if they have to build stairs for you to get into and out of the bunker, you do not want to be there.
#15 - Cross the street for the home stretch. This is the hardest par 4 I’ve played. This is an into the wind par 4, with a 30-40 foot up hill approach. By this time, you are exhausted. By the time you get to the green, you will need a nap.
#16 - Par 4, downhill tee shot. Watch it go!
#17 - Par 3, a sea of tall grass and bunkers between you and the green. Make sure you focus because you will be tired.
#18 - Climb up the hill and hit your final tee shot of the day. Not too long, but you have to play for position, which is hard to do when you are tired (did I mention that walking this course will be tiring?). Take note of the hole to right. Red Course #1 is a really underrated hole.